I’m more alive behind a Bar, it’s my home, safe zone and I control it! Most are shocked to know that on the other side of the bar. I’m a mess of Shyness, Depression and Anxiety, I’m vulnerable and not felt in control. But I stepped behind a counter stocked full of booze and glasses, and I’m at home!
Just alil about life!
Growing up my mother was very sick with C.O.P.D, so I didn’t have much choice but to grown up quick. My family was huge so lots of kids, but you wouldn’t find with them. I was either attached on my mom’s hip or playing with this Rainbow colored Mohawk, Black nail polish painted clothes “Barbie doll” that I put thru pure beauty hell. Behind a makeshift bar counter I made, slinging drinks for my G.i. Joes and T.M.N.T’s. By 8yrs old I had a full time job at a video store with a bar right next door, I spent lots of time starring in bar window, or on days I went to watch my sis bowl, you’d find me in the bar talking with Nana, My sister’s friends, Mom.
At 15, My mother went to heaven, and took my soul with her. I gave up on everything and ran far away from my dreams and right into the arms of Cocaine. From 15 till about 17 I was on my own but in the care of my sister(20+yrs older) and to say I put her thru hell is a far cry from the truth. I was a horrid, dark, unlovable shell of a person. By 19 I was on a park bench and still to this day I’m not 100%sure what all happened but one night after I did my 4th 8-ball of the day. I found myself in a dirty dive with an angel behind the counter. To say I hit rock bottom was an understatement, and this short, red haired, mean, freckled skin, lady said, and what the hell would you like to drink little girl?
That mean ass lady, which I grew to call my Earth Mama, saved me right there, and brought me home, behind the bar and taught me life lessons you can’t learn from anyone else but an O.G Bartender!
Now I’m almost 32, with 10+ years off and on Bartender and also welding. With dreams that one day I’ll have my own dirty dive and some little girl/or boy comes walking in strung out or not and I find my purpose in life. Which is to make my now 2 heaven Mama’s proud!
Favourite Drink: Vodka/Moster